Sigh

One of the biggest fights that R and I have revolves around me seeing my girlfriends. His view is that if I want to spend time with them it means I don’t want to spend time with him. This is not the case, but he doesn’t understand that sometimes I need a break…even from the love of my life and his three darling progeny. I am not saying I love my friends more than R when I go out with them. But that is what he sees. Consequently I find myself in a bit of a pickle today.

A good friend from work moved away a few months ago. She found the love of her life on the interweb and moved 1000 miles away to be with him. She continues to work for the electronics retailer that I work for and she comes back to our state every month or so. Four of us who went through new hire together have a dinner date tonight. We’ve become quite close over the nearly 3 years that we have been here. Lost loves, work issues, new loves, vacations, kids, step kids, ex’s (ours and our boys’), winnebago’s, etc. We’ve become very close. These are people that I consider friends, not merely “work friends.”  So when our runaway comes home I like to get together with everyone to catch up.

The problem is…R hates our runaway. I’m not exactly sure why, but I think it is because she is (in his opinion) a bad influence. I on the other hand, think she’s a riot. She is a good friend who was there when I really needed someone. She made sure to check on me constantly when I was at the lowest point in my life. She helped me heal, and for that I will be forever grateful.

So I am being pulled between 2 things I am desperate for. Seeing my friends and being where it would make R happiest (at home with him and the kids tonight.) I was so stressed about it I have not even told him. I’ll figure something out though. Hopefully it is before it’s time to leave for dinner. J