A friend of mine has a blog related to her job. She is a pastor in Arkansas and I have found myself reading her blog and really enjoying it. This week was about slowing down and talking to God.
I am not a “God” person. I’m not a non-believer, but I don’t believe that God is the vengeful, angry, wrath-filled entity that my Catholic upbringing has led me to believe. I believe there is a God and there is Heaven. I don’t believe in hell though. I think your options are heaven or nothing, you just die. I can’t think of anything worse than finding out that there really is nothing after this life.
So it is interesting to read the blog of someone who is so connected with God. Who has that one on one relationship that religious people talk about. It is interesting to me because I really don’t think that my life is all that interesting to God. I do lean on faith when necessary, but I try not to “bother the Big Guy” unless I really need something. And I always try to say thank you once He, or one of his saintly minions (specifically Saint Jude), gets me through things.
When the kids start asking for A then B then C then D, I tune out. Why would I presume that God would not do the same to me? I’m not going to waste my time and His on praying to win the Power Ball. Yes, $85 million would be a great thing to have. But it would have its downfalls too. And frankly I don’t think God is all that interested in me winning that money, regardless of who I promise to give it to. So I save my talks with God for the big stuff.
When I lost my job a few years ago, I prayed for help. Not a job, just something that would get me through until I found a job. A contract position started the next Monday (it was not scheduled to start for 3 more weeks.) When my boyfriend of 4 years called me and broke things off over the phone, I didn’t ask God to bring him back, I just asked that He help me find happiness again and move on...that He make the pain go away. The pain went away (eventually), and I did get over him. I got over him just a few days before he returned to my life apologizing and begging me to take him back. It’s crazy how the world and God works isn’t it?
But as for a 1:1 relationship, no I don’t think we have that. We have a relationship similar to the one I have with my boss’s boss. We know each other, I can go to Him if I need something, but for the most part I like to stay off of His radar and not bring Him too many problems.
Crazy I know.
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