Still no house

We still have not closed on the house (thanks a lot mortgage company) so we’re still living in limbo. The kids think we were making it all up. But the mortgage company, et al. say Thursday is the big day. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Girls only tonight. The ex’s car is in the shop so she needs the van (that travels with the kids) to get around. So we will only have A&M tonight. It will be a nice change, but I didn’t say that to R. Since he got on my case so hard about not ragging on the kids when we were furniture shopping I’ve been very careful about what I say about them. I am hopeful that her car is broken for a while, but I am sure it will be fixed by this weekend. Although it would be helpful for the move, not having N around during it (and complaining the whole time) would be better.

Does thinking that one of the kids not being around is better make me a bad step-mom? Sometimes I wonder. I read that I don’t need to love them. I don’t even need to like them. I just need to be a good role model and love their Dad. But WOW do I sometimes not like them at all. 

Wonderful Website

http://www.scarymommy.com/confessions/

A must to check out.

Oh dear

We were supposed to close on Friday. R had the kiddos, they were ready and excited to move, we were packed, and then…nothing. No closing. And we were told that this is “normal.” Thanks for nothing Waterstone Mortgage. :p I would never recommend that anyone use them…EVER. Our mortgage had not been completed because the underwriter felt “pressured.” Really?!? Because you all have had the information for 4 weeks now! It’s not our fault that the mortgage company did not get the underwriter the information they needed early, but we are the ones who ended up having to suffer and loose an entire weekend to paint and move.

So that changed the weekend a bit. Rather than moving and painting we were suddenly faced with an unplanned weekend. But no matter; dinner out Friday night to soothe everyone’s nerves, soccer on Saturday, then we went to the movies. Girls and I saw “Gnomeo and Juliet.” It was really cute. I highly recommend it. The girls are 11 and probably a little too old for it, but they still enjoyed it. Then we did a bit of shopping while the boy’s finished their movie. Sunday we had to go grocery shopping before breakfast and we got pretty creative in cooking things throughout the day.

Did you know you can make perfectly shaped Tollhouse cookies in a muffin pan? Sure can! Cinnamon rolls from a tube work well in a muffin pan too! Who’d a thunk it?

Then R took all 3 kids to the club to swim and hang by the indoor pool. I stayed home feigning illness and took a nap and read my book. I would have liked to work out and sit in the sauna, but going with the kids means putting my workout plans on hold to watch his kids while he works out. That was not what I was interested in doing. So I stayed home which worked out just fine.

We ended up taking the kids to their Mom’s Sunday night rather than keep them straight through until Tuesday. We just don’t have the room with boxes, etc. So now we are back on waiting to hear from the mortgage company about our new closing time at 4 pm today. Fingers crossed.

N made a curious comment at dinner last night. He said to the girls, “You should go shopping with Jen and she can buy you everything you want.” Curious. I didn’t say anything because I was not real sure what to say. For some reason they have the impression that I am loaded. I know where this impression comes from: their Mother. She is under the impression that I am loaded, which is faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar from the truth. But where does she get off talking to them about this?

Doesn’t she understand that I have NO FINANCIAL OBLIGATION TO THESE KIDS AT ALL?? They are her kids and his kids. Not mine. They seem to be under the impression that I have some kind of obligation to buy them things. (Which is one whole blog topic in and of itself!) It makes me wonder if other step-something’s have this feeling too. Do you feel pressured to purchase things for your step-kids? Buy lunch or dinner? Treat them to something? We don’t co-mingle funds, so it’s not like it is “our” money I am spending. So what do you do? I bought the girls headbands when we went shopping. I bought N a movie when we got our new TV setup at Best Buy. In the end it bothers me that they have this expectation that I should buy them things.

Can 11 year olds “work you”? Can you be played by them? Sometimes I wonder.

another weekend ahead

House stuff is going along very well and we finally told and showed the kids the new place last Sunday. They were pretty excited about it. Girls picked out their room’s, kids all explored the place, exclaimed it “Huge!” and ran off to find something new.  Girls asked if they could have a sleep over. N was pretty excited about just having some privacy. Life is great.

This weekend they are with their Mom which is sad for us. We really miss them when they are gone. I feel a little schizo at times, but I am pretty sure that is natural. We didn’t get to see them on Thursday because A&M had a mommy and me craft with Girl Scouts. Makes sense that their mom would take them to that. R had asked if they wanted to spend more overnights with us during the summer. They said “Yes!”

The next morning we got a text stating that the girls had burst into tears because he wanted to spend time with them and they don’t want to spend any more time with him than they already do. That he should stop bullying them. They know they “have to” come see him and isn’t that enough for him?

Wow. Such a different response from what we got. Why is that? I suggested that he talk to his ex and get the girls counseling. But that won’t happen. He blames her for that, but I think it is just as much him as anything else. I wonder how other step-parent’s deal with this kind of thing? The kids seeming excited and wanting to do something with one parent, and then telling the other parent and the response being completely different?

And why are there not books for the Mom who is going to be “sharing” her kids with a step-mom? Why is it all about the step-mom and how we need to act? Shouldn’t there be something for mom about remembering that the kids are PEOPLE, not POSSESSIONS!

Pass the wine.