Driving Home

We had the kids this weekend and it went pretty well. Although I would not have said that while we were in the thick of things. N is pretty stressful. He has to needle everyone about everything. It gets very old very quick, and I lost my cool a couple of times. I always feel bad when I do, but I am typically at the very end of my leash and I can't stand it any longer.

With this in mind it was VERY interesting when we took the kids home. A has been riding in the truck with me while R drives the van. (Heaven forbid we leave a car there when we pick up the kids and the van!) A told me several things on the way home that made me go, "Hmm." She said that N and M fight a lot at their Mom's house too. More than they do at our place. She said that what we get it "light" compaired to their Mom's house. How fascinating.

She also told me that she likes her Mom better than her Dad. I didn't tell her Dad this. I couldn't. He is head over heals for this kid. So I could NEVER tell him this. So now I need to figure out a way to adjust his behavior to make sure she doesn't feel overloaded.  She is relied on in both homes to help out and M is pretty much allowed to do nothing and get away with it. A is getting frustrated by it. She's feeling taken advantage of. 

It was VERY interesting to hear her thoughts about dinner time activities. R makes dinner. I clean up. It seems pretty easy to me. But A sees it as R being "mean" to me. How fasciniating!!!  She didn't think it was fair that he would come sit down in the living room or go upstairs and I would be doing dishes. I explained that since he was cooking I thought it was fair that I clean up so that one person does not do all the work.  She thought he was being mean to me. How fascinating.

So how do I get him to rely on M more and let A off the hook a bit more? I'm going to have to think on this.