Rough Patch

Things have been really crazy at home lately. R got into some trouble at work a little over a year ago, and it is coming to a head now. (Given his industry this is not atypical.) The trouble got reported in the local paper and he’s upset by that. He’s lost his biggest client, however the rest seem to be sticking around (knock on wood.)

Add to that that R got some paperwork from the court system that N’s mother (Evil Ex) is going to be N’s SOLE guardian after he turns 18. R was quite upset by this, but filed paperwork to ask for joint guardianship. He talked to N about this this weekend and N told him that he didn’t want R to be a joint guardian because he left Evil Ex. He hates us and can't wait until he doesn't "have" to come over to our house.

Add to this that the kids were terrors this weekend. Disrespectful, rude, and sassy (not in a good way). They would tell us how awful we made their lives and how unfair we are, only to turn around and ask us to buy them things. WTF.

All of this creates a very unhappy and stressed out R. Which makes me stressed out, angry, and unhappy right along with him. To the point that we’re talking about running away. Selling everything, house, fun cars, motorcycles, and anything else that is unnecessary, and buying a small house in a Southwestern American state. Getting easy jobs with low stress and just living a simpler life with Baby.

The problem with all of this is AM&N. Ok, so N doesn’t want to have anything to do with us. Fine. We can’t change how he feels. But A&M are 12, almost 13. This is a tough age and since Evil Ex is so…well, evil, we can’t expect her to not brainwash them for 9 or 10 months out of the year and then have them come visit in the summer and expect everything to go hunky dory. And R doesn’t want to leave them. He doesn’t want to abandon them and go “start a new family” someplace else. I get that. It’s not fair to them.

The other problem with us leaving is my parents. J&B have been wanting grandkids for almost 20 years. Now they are faced with getting exactly what they want, and we’re going to up and move away. That’s not fair either.

So we end up between a rock and a hard place. Not happy here, but unable to leave. Wanting to leave, but unable to do so. When do we decide to stop catering to other people and look at our family and what is best for us? My guess is in about 6 or 7 years after A&M are graduated from high school we’ll run away. But that is a long time from now. I don’t know that R can stand it that long. I don’t think he can hold up that long. But I suppose we will see.