Blah to Yeah!

I have the cold rainy blahs.

I really don’t have anything to do at work. I am here and am pretending to work. There is simply nothing worse than screwing around all day trying to “look busy” when you have zip to do. My files are caught up. But I am here. We have a relaxed work environment so I could leave. But I don’t because my boss doesn’t believe in it. She will come by late, knowing I already left, and then send me a snarky email about how sorry she is that she missed me. I want to respond “You know I work until 4 or 4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I can get home early for the kiddos! Seriously! Come by late on Monday or Wednesday and we can talk.

Add to that that I have no holiday spirit whatsoever. I am tired of money flowing out of the bank. I am tired of having to wrap everything. I am tired of pandering to my step kids who have now decided that they are setting up a “wrapping station” in their rooms. (Seriously?!? You’re not the only ones who need to wrap shit!) I am tired of having to come up with ideas for him, my parents, his kids, my sister, her boyfriend, all the pets, my work employees, his clients, and me. And I need to put up all the holiday “stuff” around the house because he “just isn’t into that.” But I get nagged about it. If it matters that much to you, do it your damned self.

And I’m doing ALL OF THIS knowing that I am going to screwed over again for Christmas on all but the gifts I bought for myself. All  I want is for someone to put some frickin thought into a gift. You know me pretty well…better than anyone actually…get me something that makes you think “WOW, she’ll love this!” And it DOESN’T come from a thrift store. I don’t want a cheap ass pair of plastic kiddie binoculars because my sister got some real ones for her birthday and you think it would be “funny.” I don’t want a popcorn bowl with Joe Buck’s signature on it because I HATE HIM.

So rather than continue to crab about a crappy holiday or the crappy gifts I’ll get in said holiday I should stop and count my blessings.

1.       I have a wonderful husband with a great sense of humor who I love more deeply than I ever thought possible.

2.       I have 3 step kids who are each uniquely wonderful.

3.       I have a good job, that pays very well that gives me flexibility that all jobs should have.

4.       I have wonderful friends who make my days richer, funnier, and just plain lovelier because they are in my life.

5.       I have parents who stay out of my business for the most part, but are there if I need them

6.       My sister is a star of happiness in my world.

7.       We have enough money, food, shelter, and comforts that show me daily (when I’m looking) that I shouldn’t complain about anything.

8.       I have my health. I might be overweight and slightly depressed, but I am healthier than most.

9.       We have 5 cars, 2 motorcycles, 5 bicycles, 2 power wheelchairs, and 2 scooters…more transportation than any family really needs and more than most have.

10.   I am not living a lie or living in the shadows any longer. My life is out there and I am proud of how I am living it.

11.   It is not snowy.

12.   I live in a wonderful country where I have the right to express myself anyway I want, can worship who and if I want, and can go where I want with little to no interference from the government.

That’s just 12. A dozen things off the top of my head that I am thankful for. A dozen blessings big and small. A dozen reasons to look out the window (even though it is gray and yucky) and perk up.