I've never been a baby girl.
Never got baby fever.
Kids were not by bag, baby.
But he convinced me.
On our honeymoon I accidentally forgot my pills. Nothing happened, but I hoped. And I was sad when it didn't happen.
Now, last night, he says he's come to like the life we have. Able to leave at a moments notice and go anywhere and do anything. That a baby just wouldn't be a good idea. Sure. Now that you've convinced me, you don't want it any more.
I had a dream last night. It was our son, Pierce (yeah, we'd already picked out a name.)
He came to say goodbye to me. Telling me that he was going to go be with another family. That the decision had been made. We were not going to be together. He had the opportunity to go live with another family. He was going to take it. He knew he'd be happy and well cared for. That he'd be loved. That he loved me and had hoped we would be together but it wasn't going to happen. Then he hugged me and left.
I woke up crying.
How did this woman come to be? How did she suddenly inhabit my body? How did this desire for a baby come about?
And why...as soon as I was ready for it...did he change his mind?
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